NAME.....Aircraft Maintenance
CODE.....NL6507
ORIGIN...Unknown
STATUS...Undecided

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanical problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems,

P: the problem logged by the pilot.
S: The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious

Summary

This is a copy of an E-Mail that I had received in October 2002. The spelling and grammar was so bad in the original that I had to make a few corrections in order for it to be comprehensible, other than that, it is in the original wording.

This "list" arrangement is an instantly recognisable format in UL circles, and is used to document everything from computer helpline conversations, doctor's notes on patients, quotes from the courtroom, excuses from parents for students, quotes from accident report forms, to signs and menus translated into poor English by foreigners. I could go on and on reeling off the categories, and could easily have enough material for a large book.

Most of this material that is circulated via E-Mails today could have been found sitting on top of a Fax machine's in-tray ten years ago. This in turn could have been found pinned up on company's bulletin board or printed in a newsletter 30 to 40 years before that. In other words, this is a typical "office water cooler conversation" that reproduces and recycles the same information but with variations. This is why I consider the "lists" as UL's.

Final Thoughts

Here are a few examples of "List" legends:

Absent notes for students from their parents:
Please excuse Fiona from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with Gramps.
My son is under the doctor's care and should not take PE. Please execute him.

Doctors Notes:
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
She is numb from her toes down.

Lawyer's questions in court:

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
How long have you been a French Canadian?
Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?